You Deserve Happiness

At the very heart  of the American Dream are the unalienable rights of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”  Today, we say it this way, “You deserve to be happy.” “If it doesn’t make you happy let it go” “The purpose of life is to be happy.”  “As long as you are happy, that’s all that matters.”  Is your personal happiness really the only thing that matters?  What if the pursuit of happiness is actually the thing that is undermining the flourishing of your relationships?

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Teaching Notes




Relational Desire: to experience intimate, life-giving, character-shaping relationships that have a rugged commitment to one another.


How in the world do we have that kind of relationship?




Why is true happiness so elusive?


Why do we tend to live such full lives that often leaves us unfulfilled?


What if the pursuit of happiness is actually undermining 

the flourishing of our relationships?




The Modern Relational Vision:  Your HAPPINESS is most IMPORTANT.


🡪  The PURPOSE of relationships is PERSONAL happiness.

🡪  When you get ____________ then you’ll be happy.

🡪  DO whatever MAKES you happy.

🡪  If UNHAPPY, something must be WRONG.


The Problem of Happily Ever After:


  • It tells us DIFFICULT is bad.


  • It leaves us DISSATISFIED relationally.


  • It creates a DISILLUSIONMENT with _______.


How do you ensure that you end up happy with your life?


The Law of Happiness:


Blessed is the man

who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked

or stand in the way of sinners

or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the Lord,

and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water,

which yields its fruit in season

and whose leaf does not wither.

Whatever he does prospers.

Psalm 1:1-3


Relational Wisdom: 


Happiness is a BY-PRODUCT of a well lived life, not a DESTINATION in life.


You can’t get a second thing by putting them first; you can get a second thing only by putting first things first.

  • C.S. Lewis




For the sake of your ______________,

where do you need to apply disproportionate energy?


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  

Hebrews 12:1-2