The Lonely Place

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Teaching Notes

Why do we feel so alone in such a socially connected world?

How do we experience deep, meaningful, life-giving friendships in the digital age?


The Digital Age of Relationships:

- We confuse _______________ for _______________.

- We trade being _______________ with being _______________.

- We compare our _______ ________ to everyone else’s _______________ _________.

- We live for _______________ instead of from _______________.

“What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more in the telling of it?”

- John S. Lynch, The Cure

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Proverbs 17:17

The “C’s” of Relationships: People Fuel by Dr. John Townsend


1. Coaches: Those individuals with whom we engage to mentor, develop, guide, and direct us.

2. Comrades: Your Life Team. Those 3-10 individuals who know all about you accept you fully but also tell you the truths you need to hear.

3. Casuals: Those friends and neighbors you have who are just good, positive people.

4. Colleagues: We spend a great deal of time working, and it’s important to work with the right people.

5. Care: Those individuals who are without something they need and which you have the capacity to supply to them.

6. Chronics: The person continually has some problems with career, finances, marriage, family, parenting, emotional well being, and physical health, making the same mistakes and having little interest in insight. Harmless in intent but harmful in impact.

7. Contaminants: We are all imperfect, but Contaminants are at another level. They have bad motives. They tend to be envious and desire to divide and damage others.


“It’s not the number of people around you that determines your loneliness; it’s your relationship to them.”

Principle: To _______________ good friends, you need to _______________ a good friend.

Four Traits of a Good Friend:

1. A rugged _______________ to one another.

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24 [See also Proverbs 20:6]

2. A willingness to _______________ for the other.

Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.

Proverbs 27:10

3. A loyal _______________ before others.

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

Proverbs 11:13

4. An ongoing source of _______________.

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.

Proverbs 27:9


- Choose _______________ over _______________.

The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26

Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

Proverbs 13:20 [also Proverbs 22:24-25]

Do I want to be a better _______________ as a result of their friendship?
Do they push me towards or pull me away from Jesus?
Do I have a few deep friendships or many surface friendships?

- It takes _______________ and _______________.

The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.

Proverbs 20:5

Create _______________        Ask _______________         Be _______________

- Conflict is an _______________ to _______________.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Better an open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:5-6

“What if there was a place so safe that the worst of me could be known, and I would discover that I would not be loved less, but more in the telling of it? What if repentance wasn't a promise from you to God but a gift from God to you? Grace is the face love wears, when it meets imperfection.”

- John S. Lynch, The Cure