Building Materials
More from Marriage Material
Teaching Notes
How do you experience a strong, vibrant marriage that lasts a lifetime?
A strong, vibrant marriage does not just HAPPEN; it is BUILT.
N.I.S.T. Key Findings:
- Foundational Issues
- Quality of Materials
- Added Stress
- Deferred Maintenance
BUILDING MATERIALS
The quality of the materials directly impacts the beauty and longevity of what you are building.
Building a strong, vibrant marriage is less about FALLING in love and more about GROWING in love.
- Upgrade your DEFINITION of love.
Love [noun]: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person; an attraction that includes sexual desire; the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship; a person you love in a romantic way
- Webster
Redefining Love
LOVE IS:
Love is patient, love is kind.
Patient – to be even-tempered while enduring trying circumstances; to bear up under provocation without complaint, the capacity to be wronged and not retaliate, long-suffering, forbearance.
Kindness – to be warmhearted, merciful, gentle, considerate, sympathetic, to provide something beneficial for someone, to choose the best.
LOVE DOESN’T:
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Envy – set one’s heart on something that belongs to someone else, become painfully desirous of another’s advantages, have intense negative feelings over another’s achievements or success, jealousy.
Boast – to heap praise on oneself, exhibiting self-importance, bragging.
Proud – to be arrogant, conceived of as being puffed up with air, to have an exaggerated self conception, conceited.
Dishonor – to act unbecomingly, to shame, to behave indecently, disgracefully, or rudely.
Self-Seeking – insist on one’s own way, to demand their way, making sure it works out for themselves.
Easily Angered – to be easily provoked, a state of irritation expressed in argument. Record of Wrong – resentful, bitter, keeping score in order to hold over the other person’s head.
Evil – wrongdoing, doing what is unjust, violating God’s moral law, designed for human flourishing.
Truth – that which conforms to reality, integrity, righteousness, holiness.
LOVE ALWAYS:
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Always Protects – to bear up against difficulties, to keep confidence, safe, consistent, endures.
Always Trusts – to believe, put faith in; in relation to God, it is taking Him at His Word; in relation to people, it is not being gullible but believing the best and giving the most generous explanation.
Always Hopes – believes no one is beyond hope, confident expectation that a better tomorrow awaits.
Always Perseveres – endures, to wait with persistence, to face and withstand with courage, maintain a belief or course of action in the face of opposition.
- Become a LEARNER of Love.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as
Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
Ephesians 5:1-2
Agapetos Agape Agapao
1. Embrace that you are DEARLY LOVED.
agapetos – the object of one’s affection, having a very special relationship; beloved
2. Commit to living a LIFE of LOVE
agape – the self-giving, sacrificial love that gives the other what they need the most when they deserve it the least.
3. Rely on Christ’s love to EMPOWER you.
agapao – “The unconditional love of Jesus in us, that is flowing through us to be a force of transformation around us.”
- Efrem Smith
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Ephesians 5:21
APPLICATION
Love Asks: What is the HIGHEST and BEST for the other person?