From age 4 to at least 7 if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say “a princess”. I was going to marry a prince, live in a castle, and no one could convince me otherwise. I have grown up since then, but the idea of happily-ever-after and fairy tales is something that has never left me. Everything I did or wanted was wrapped into a happily-ever-after dream. Relationships I strove after in high school and after where, whether consciously or not, focused on the happy ending. Then, Ryan started the relationship series and talked about the waiting and foundations.
I thought at first, “Whatever. This isn’t for me I’m pretty grounded in who I am.” Yet I was wrong. Our foundation is more than just surrendering to God; it is who we are in Christ. And the foundation I built was not on God; rather, it was on my own dreams. I had two foundations: one that I built on God – and everything I gave to him – and another I built mainly on my future dreams, which I had not given to him. The latter foundation was built on sand.
The stones we build reflect who we are, and who we are is reflected by what we believe and put our energy into. By holding back parts of who we are, God can not work in us to transform us into the person he has called us to be. Yet, in letting go comes waiting and forming. We have to be willing to surrender in order for the work to begin. When I let go of that part of my heart which I had held back, I realized that there was a lot of work to be done. It was relieving to finally give that part up because I could finally allow God to start working in me. In allowing him to work in me, I was able to accomplish more for his kingdom because I had finally let him have all of me. In Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) it says,
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
We ARE Gods workmanship; he has created us to do His work. And at this stage of my life, I am accomplishing this as a single woman of God. Because of this work he is building a foundation in me that is strong. I had the idea that when a Prince Charming showed up, he would adore everything about me and I would not not need to change anything about me. In reality, it is the complete opposite. I needed to change. I needed to chase after God. He is and should be my ultimate goal. In fact, telling God, “if I do this ‘Christian thing’ then you will send me whatever I want”, usually never works.
The major part I was missing from a strong foundation was reality. I kept building using dreams and expectations. I was expecting “once upon a time” to happen at any given moment. Yet my dreams are exactly that, dreams. I wasted so much time in dreaming that I left cracks and holes in my foundation. I had this expectation of a prince; he would come and everything would be great. That is not true either. One man is not going fix all my problems. People will fail us at some point or another. We will be hurt by people and unfortunately it is inevitable. But God will never fail us or forsake us, and that is an absolute truth we can live by. I have my short comings – pride, stubbornness, arrogance – but they are things that God can heal and forgive. A man can not do that. I want to become a person wrapped up in Christ, because that is the ultimate goal. I dare say, he is my prince.
In time I pray that God does bring me a wonderful prince. In the time I have alone, I will continue to strive toward getting to know my Savior and getting lost in him. Brick by brick, I will build and seek who I am in Christ. I do not know the end of my story; I know the beginning and some of the middle. But the future is out of my hands and I surrender the story to the wonderful creator.
At the king’s command they removed from the quarry large blocks of high-grade stone to provide a foundation of dressed stone for the temple.
1 Kings 5:17
Author: Rebekah Dennison