Kicking Me in the Butt (wait… can I say “butt” on this thing?)

Have you ever had one of those “light bulb going off” moments as you suddenly realize “holy crap! I am doing things all wrong” (note: crap isn’t actually holy… it’s just a colloquialism. also note: the word “colloquialism” is a great example of Dictionary.com making me sound smarter than I actually am.  further note: you have my apologies if my side-notes are too-long and completely un-related).  right… back to the topic at hand.  (note: I already feel sorry for the poor soul who has to edit this thing)I am talking about one of those “moments of clarity” when you realize how extraordinarily wrong the things the way you are handling things are, and how mind-blowingly (new word) RIGHT God is.  And I’m not talking about a mere “oh, i guess peanut butter M&M’s are actually better than reses peices”.  I’m talking about being SPECTACULARLY wrong.  As in “wow, I guess i shouldnt have stapled my tongue to the wall”. (it’s ok… i’m a guy… so that IS a valid scenario)

I recently had one of those “clear” moments that was obviously from God.  Check that.  I constantly am realizing how wrong (some could argue “idiotic”) I am, and how right God is.

And after my most recent amazement of how RIGHT God is, I couldn’t help but admire his patience. He is pointing out things that I have been doing wrong my WHOLE LIFE.  It’s like God is sitting there, watching me hit myself in the head with a hammer, and he is patient to first teach me what a hammer is, so i can realize that i should stop hitting myself in the head with it.  Let’s think about the magnitude of this patience… watching someone hit themselves with a hammer their ENTIRE LIFE.  But He says he is the good teacher and that means that he doesnt give up, not even on nightmare students like me (if you don’t see any stories about me/nightmare student… you can assume they were edited out… of this blog).

Good thing that God, with his infinite patience, his in-comprehensible love, and (cant really think of another good adjective) wisdom, is in charge.  because as much as I’d LIKE to be in charge… it probably wouldn’t be a good thing.  let me demonstrate

1st thing I’d do: marry bacon candy… but I have a feeling like spouse cannibalism will never be smiled upon.
2nd thing I’d do: think about making spouse cannibalism not-frowned upon… because THAT’S how much i like bacon candy… (but don’t worry, i really wouldn’t do it)
3rd thing I’d do: have Paul Walker stop making awful movies… but even THIS wouldn’t be a good idea, because he was in a 1/2 decent movie… “Pleasantville” (proof that even a blind squirrel can find a nut every once in a while)
4th thing I’d do: not have patience for dorks like me who need God’s help more than I know.

as much as I whine (a LOT) and as much as I think I have my life in order (sadly ironic, if you have ever seen how dirty my room is), God is patient to show me the right way.  He is good enough to teach me what a hammer is, so that i can say “wow, i probably shouldn’t be hitting myself in the head with this thing”.  And as odd as it sounds… he is faithful to kick me in the butt (still not sure if I’m allowed to use that word in this blog), because unfortunately, a good butt-kicking is exactly what I need sometimes.

Author: Will McDonald

2 Responses to “Kicking Me in the Butt (wait… can I say “butt” on this thing?)”

  1. Kim

    i’d just like to add that the author of this post is the oh-so-talented Will McDonald 🙂

    Reply

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