The Devil Made Me Do It
More from Where In The World Did We Go Wrong?
Teaching Notes
Why is my first reflex when things go wrong is to ask, “Who blew it?”
If finger-pointing fixed anything, why are the same messes on repeat?
What if blame is the very thing trapping me in my brokenness?
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”
And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”
The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”
Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”
The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:8-13
The REFLEX of Blame
“Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain.”
- Dr. Brené Brown
- Destructive BELIEF: FAILURE = UNLOVABLE
“Those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.”
- Dr. Robert McGee, The Search for Significance
- Deflect RESPONSIBILITY
Self-Serving Bias: a cognitive reflex that credits me for my successes and excuses me for my failures.
- Creates DISTANCE
“Blaming others helps us put a safe distance between their failure and our fragile self-worth.”
- Dr. Robert McGee, The Search for Significance
Hide → Fear → Blame → Fracture
The HIGH COST of Blame
- ISOLATION – it distances us from others.
- STAGNATION – we stop growing when we stop owning.
- ESCALATION – blame leads to bitterness, resentment, and hostility.
Blame never HEALED a marriage, REPAIRED a friendship, or BUILT a meaningful life.
The ANTIDOTE for Blame
- Name the NARRATIVE.
- Own Your JUNK.
- Confess in COMMUNITY.